The scenes of our life resemble pictures in rough mosaic; they are ineffective from close up, and have to be viewed from a distance if they are to seem beautiful. That is why, though we live our lives in expectation of better things, we often at the same time long for what is past. The present, on the other hand, is regarded as something quite temporary and serving only as the road to our goal for the future, a fluid and unwritten scope. That is why most men discover when they look back on their life that they have the whole time been living ad interim, and are surprised to see that which they let go by so unworthy and unenjoyed was precisely that in expectation of which they lived for their entire life. – Arthur Schopenhauer.
For readers that had grown accustomed to the interactive experience of publishing online, please see the below content regarding the rewrite of Chapter Six: The Brunette.
Playlist for those that requested:
Chapter Six, Scene Two
This chapter was very angsty, and actually depressing for both the reader and the character. After the events on the mountaintop, Jason returns home restless, deciding he doesn’t want to be alone for once, though not necessarily around people. He wants to drink, so he heads to the the bar. Given that it’s closed until the afternoon in light of the town celebration for the Fourth of July holiday, he takes a seat on a grassy lawn of the town looking down at the picnic.
In a state of blank acceptance regarding everything he’s wrestling with, the role his condition is playing in his life, he resigns to an emotionless place laced with bitterness and disgust as he watches the party below. His quotes are pretty… angry, if you all remember, and brutally honest, conveying what many veterans experience as outsiders looking in on American civilian society. I declined to post a teaser (sorry) as I found it difficult to just take a snapshot of his consecutive thoughts, fearing they would be taken out of context.
Eventually, as the party continues, he decides he’s had enough, only to catch sight of the pretty Brunette from the store. Seeing her adds a new layer to this place within him, but instead of anger, he avoids the feelings she triggers, believing nothing he can do or say will change his circumstances.
A brief exchange of eye contact with the girl and he decides then it’s best to leave. And here is the polyvore for Ava’s (and now Natalie’s) dress by request, although I hope this doesn’t ruin your imagination for the chapter:
Music for Scene Two
For the international readers, these are American Patriotic songs referenced in the chapter that so many of you asked about during the original. The first is a quasi-anthem played at almost every patriotic gathering, one that gets most of us all sentimental and shivery. Regardless of your politics, songs like this remind Americans what our nation stood for at its inception: life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. As original readers recall, Jason has matter-of-fact, almost elitist opinions of patriotism and his country.
Proud to be an American by Lee Greenwood
Star Spangled Banner, United States of America National Anthem
Chapter Six, Scenes One and Three
I basically wrote this entire chapter to Deftones and Chevelle on repeat. It’s angry, but then Nirvana’s acoustic took his resignation and sadness to an even place. Those are found in the playlist above.
My Own Summer (Shove It) by Deftones
Bored by Deftones
Change by Deftones
Digital Bath by Deftones
Closure by Chevelle
Vitamin R by Chevelle
As Jason enters the bar, observing his environment, he begins to make resolutions, strengthening his resolve with the beer soothing his bottled rage and frustration. He meets Dave then, and the tone of his thoughts changes to a lighthearted good time from Dave’s antics. Of course, then the Brunette walks in again, oblivious to the attention she is commanding from the room, showing Jason an insight to her character, something he uses as justification to avoid his impulses to speak with her. Although he is not conscious of this, this is just as much about protecting himself from interaction, as it is her. One of my favorite quotes:
“Amy-types I could handle, but she wasn’t like that. Amy would’ve relished that attention, entering the bar peacocking and shit. This girl didn’t even notice she was sex, walking into a room full of men.”
This song was a very beautiful addition to the entire final scene of this chapter, as Jason looks on at the bar, a little too drunk, watching the Brunette take a seat with a fresh-faced young man. Something he realizes he isn’t, and never will be.
Crazy by Ray Lamontagne (Gnarls Barkley Cover)
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