Black and White, Chapter: One – Reprieves
Great men are like eagles, and build their nest on some lofty solitude. - Arthur Schopenhauer
Chapter One, Scene One:
Music
Chapter One for the original novel varies from the online version in that Jason is tied to his grandfather’s home, and his grandfather’s influence in a deeper way. The conflict between the grandfather, father and Jason is enriched by additions to the backstory and characterization of all three. Instead of introducing the reader to Jason as a passive depressive, at the beginning of Chapter One, Jason is inactive, waiting for his overnight companion to wake-up from her late sleep. He is contemplative and thoughtful, but the next successive scenes demonstrate his emotional detachment, not only to people, but to objects that once captivated him.
As posted on the threads, for this scene, this musical influence is most powerful. Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony is a dark, poetic piece, and the Second Movement summarizes this character, transcending this scene by fitting his struggle in a profound way. Frequently, during almost every phase of rewriting and during the entire original writing phase, I’ve listened to this composition:
Ludwig van Beethoven’s Seventh Symphony, Second Movement
My editor, Stephanie, and readers Nickie and Dawn have a talent for musical inspiration. Stephanie completely rocked Jason’s playlist for Chapter One, and I wrote with these on repeat for the first scene:
This song always seems to channel that sense of melancholy this character can rarely identify within himself during the beginning of the novel. Described in the original as “the void”, or the feeling that something is missing. All three songs were recommended by readers during the online version and have stayed with the story because they’re awesome:
Colorblind by Counting Crows
Spies by Coldplay
Unknown Soldier by Breaking Benjamin
Thank you for the recommendation, Brandy.
Shoulders and Arms by Tokyo Police Club
The mood of Scene One transitions as Jason’s companion awakens, the reader learns he is indulging in a situation of casual sex, purely for distraction and convenience. For online readers, that scene is very similar to the online version, although more developed in relation to his Schopenhauer rationalizations and the actual relationship between Amy. This Arctic Monkeys song just hit me and I kept replaying it. The lyrics are particularly applicable as they denote the dormant irritation one can feel while engaging with another purely for selfish, sexual reasons, while finding their other attributes less charming.
Cryin’ Lightning by Arctic Monkeys
Scene One transitions again as Amy departs the house, and Jason begins his daily routine with an exhaustive run. This song would not leave my head:
My Third House by Kings of Leon
As he continues his run in Chapter One, and also for the start of Chapter Three, this musical influence took over. This is so addictive, so click with caution. Thank you to Kevin for totally creating a monster by recommending this band.
Drones in the Valley by Cage the Elephant
Chapter One, Scene Two:
Scene Two begins with a phone piercing the silence of his grandfather’s home, wrenching him from disturbing sleep. Immediately, he experiences an adrenaline dump triggered by unwelcome recollections before forcing himself to mask his mental and physical state to answer the phone. The caller is his mother and he desires above all else to master his situation to prevent her from worrying.
This then shows a pattern of his willing behavior, indicating he will even deceive himself as well as others for the sake of secrecy regarding his condition, which is no small feat. Deviating from the original, the reader discovers in Chapter 3 that he learned this habit of recovering quickly from flashbacks and intrusive thoughts during his third and final deployment in the Iraq War. This was borne out of his intrinsic compulsion to hide his condition, not just to avoid it himself, but also from others, and in that situation his fellow Marines. This is, therefore, a habit.
As for the beloved interaction between Jason and his mother, I tried not to mess with a good thing. The scene was carefully crafted in the online version, so I preserved much of the intention. As Jason speaks to his mother, several aspects of his character are revealed, including his desire of privacy, his willingness to manipulate others for what he tells himself are altruistic reasons. Again, as in for their protection, and not his. Here is a small excerpt:
Only my mother had this number and I needed to answer, but I had to get my shit together first. She would worry if I couldn’t play this off well enough. Popping my knuckles and catching my breath, I flexed my shaking hands repeatedly to release the tension.
My eyes found the windows. What time was it? The glow of the exterior lights I’d installed last month illuminated the path to my trail; they came on after 2100. I’d slept all day.
My plans were completely fucked. My blood boiled at my failure, lighting my face with a surge of anger unfit for this level of inconvenience. Under control, I bit it back, catching my breath, and focusing now. I couldn’t dwell, the time was lost and I had only myself to blame.
The phone pierced the silence once more. I hopped up, the high kitchen island separating the rooms was no match for my urgency. I cleared it quickly, nearly skidding for the phone. The old beige receiver screamed against the wall again before I snatched it.
“Hello?” I answered, my voice thicker and rougher than I wanted.
“Jason?” my mother asked, confused by my tone.
“Sorry. Couldn’t find the phone,” I lied, wiping my face with my hand, hoping to clear the bullshit away. I was sweating profusely.
“That’s fine, darling. How’re you?” she asked, masking her predictable concern.
I suppressed a sigh. “Fine . . . just napping after working outside. And you?” I reassured, using my voice for persuasion. I hated lying to her, but I didn’t want her to worry. Besides, I had been the focus of our interactions for too long. I wanted to talk about her instead of my routine and schedule, or my adjustment and wounds.
“I’m well. Missing you and waiting your father to get home. He’s in New York this week,” she said. Of course he was.
“I miss you, too. How’s your week going?” I hopped back on the counter to stay a while, feeling guilty for not calling her in days.
The direct correlation between the way he treats and values both women in this chapter shows the dichotomy of his personality later reconciled in an interesting way when Jason meets Ava.
